Vincci La Plantación del Sur ★★★★★

My personal Eden shalt not be overrun by tourists.

Tenerife is an extremely popular holiday destination. Understandably so, with its lush, verdant vegetation, lunar landscapes, and long sandy beaches. However, if you choose your destination carefully, you can easily avoid the throbbing tourist spots and relish in the peace and year-round sunshine of this special island. La Plantación del Sur is only 500m from the Blue Flag beach in Costa Adeje, an upmarket stretch of beach worlds away from the pulsating techno beats of the Playa de las Americas just up the coast. Travellers who choose the resort do so for its cosy, intimate feel, and, as tropical birds of a feather stick together, guests are highly unlikely to be confronted with hardcore partiers during their stay.

My personal Eden shall have stunning views of the sea and king-sized beds.

Every single one of the 164 rooms and villas at La Plantación del Sur has an ocean view! Rooms are spacious and all feature furnished terraces and balconies (many of which have their own personal Jacuzzis). Elegant colonial-style furniture and four-poster beds add a touch of class while modern conveniences abound. Adam and Eve may not have had high-speed Internet connections in their Eden, but they could have avoided a lot of problems if they did! The hydromassage showers and baths allow guests a simulation of showering in the natural cascades that cover the island, with the added advantage of temperature control and complimentary bath products! I’m not sure Eve really needed a dressing room for her collection of modest fig leaves, but guests at La Plantación del Sur are sure to appreciate all the extra hanging and storage space.

My personal Eden shall have Champagne for breakfast.

When I am on holiday I don’t like to be told where and when I have to eat. Here, with three restaurants and two bars, guests can eat whenever they please, throughout the day! I also don’t like to be forced to eat local cuisine if I don’t feel like it, so the buffet was a welcome sight. With a wide variety of choice, guests can opt for a little bit of everything, from sushi to steak and chips. La Jaima is another informal dining option. Overlooking the swimming pool area, the restaurant serves mouth-watering Mediterranean fare. The gourmet option, Gourmet Canario, introduces travellers to authentic dishes from the Canary Islands, using only fresh, local products. And for breakfast, why drink orange juice when you can have Champagne? Better yet, mix the two together and really get your day off to a bubbly start with a Bucks Fizz!

My personal Eden shall have a luxurious spa.

The Spa Nammu (named for the ancient Mesopotamian goddess of the sea) is the only spa on the island to provide treatments in keeping with Canarian tradition. A thermal circuit in a volcanic setting, serene indoor swimming pools, and a wide range of beauty treatments and massages will keep guests looking and feeling their very best. Personally, I like to work up a sweat in the fantastic fitness centre before winding down and soothing my aching muscles in the presence of Nammu – it makes me feel quite virtuous and absolves extra pudding guilt from the night before!

My personal Eden shall be filled with benevolent angels.

The service never stops at La Plantación del Sur. Rest assured that someone is on hand 24/7 to see to your every need. They will take you to your rooms in golf buggies, to avoid you having to drag your suitcases around, provide you with a selection of pillows to ensure your nighttime comfort, and replace bath products, towels, and slippers daily; an evidently well-treated staff happy to help.